Value & Worth
Let’s talk about value. I once saw a paparazzi photo of Serena Williams on the beach in a bikini. She had visible cellulite on her legs, and the publication posting this photo was attempting to shame her for having cellulite. I can’t say how Serena felt if she even saw the publication, but I would imagine she couldn’t care less. You know why? Her value is not in whether or not she has cellulite on her thighs! It doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s still the best tennis player to ever live! And her value isn’t in that either, her value is in her being a person. Period. That’s it. She is human, therefore she is valuable, worthy of love, and a treasure...just like you.
It’s heartbreaking, to say the least, to hear incredible, smart, gifted women obsessing about something so trivial as extra weight on their bodies or perceived imperfections with them.
I recently read an article sent to me by a friend from The New York Times. In it, the writer told a story about attending a lunch meeting with women in her industry that she absolutely looked up to, and was hoping to glean wisdom from them and possibly collaborate on a future project.
When the waiter came to take their order, these women took turns tearing their bodies apart. One musing that her baby weight from her latest pregnancy was gone but she was using Spanx to keep her “horror show” of a stomach under wraps, while another complained of the amount of cellulite on her thighs, and another was attempting to eat “good” after a “bad” weekend.
At the end of the article, the writer proposed the idea that women get together without mentioning their bodies or their diets, as an “act of resistance and kindness to ourselves.”
I can’t help but think what we’re missing out on as women by spending our time with each other fueling what society is already doing a really great job at; creating insecurity and self doubt in women. What if our girls nights were spent encouraging each other’s business ideas, celebrating job promotions, building up our new mom friends in their challenging new role, and being a listening ear to our friend who is dealing with a tough season.
It needs to start with us. If we don’t inherently identify ourselves as valuable, just the way we are right now, it’s going to be challenging to instill value in those around us.
Perhaps it’s as simple as redirecting the conversation at our work lunch table. Asking questions about each other’s hopes, dreams, and plans, instead of what diet we’re on this week.
As a health and wellness professional, I know it may seem counterintuitive to ask women to stop obsessing about our bodies and diets, but I want women to feel at peace in their bodies. To have a growing love and appreciation for them as they change and age, rather than disdain that it doesn’t resemble what it did in their teens and 20’s.
My goal as a health coach is to teach women to eat better as a means to feel better, and to feel empowered in that newfound knowledge, so much so that they don’t need me anymore. Sure, it’s a crappy business model, but I’m aiming for generational change, not temporary, look good on vacation, and cycle through diet and binge cycles for the rest of your life.
I’ve been there, done that, and felt the weight and misery of constantly being at battle with my body. I don’t want my daughter to have memories of her mother always trying to lose weight. I want her to have memories of playing, learning, exploring, and seeing her mom as a strong, confident, loving, and present part of her life. I want my daughter to never diet, to never look at her body with shame or disgust. I want her to appreciate all of the amazing things her body does for her, without her even having to ask.
When we’re on our death bed, we aren’t going to think, “Gosh, I never lost those last 10 pounds. I failed.” No! We will be thinking about the people we love, the life we lived, and the things we regret not doing.
Don’t miss out on your life because you are so busy dieting and exercising. Make healthy choices because it will enhance and prolong your life, but don’t live in a prison of those choices. There’s a better way.