Self-Care is such a hot topic right now. We see it plastered on the cover of health magazines, on every womans-focused Instagram page, and even on tv. Everyone is talking about self-care, but few seem to know what it actually is, and even fewer are implementing self-care regularly.

So what exactly is self-care? 

I love to garden, so let’s use a plant analogy. I have this big, beautiful basil plant that grows in a planter on my Brooklyn apartment patio. You can smell her as soon as you open the patio door, and her leaves are bright green and full of life. My patio is hit with direct sunlight for most of the day, and in the summertime my plants need a lot of water to thrive in the city heat. If I don’t water my basil plant for even a day, she starts to wilt and bruise, but she always comes back to life after I water her. 

We are like my beautiful basil plant. When we are providing our bodies with the necessities it needs to be well, we thrive. For my plant, this is sunlight, water, and fertile soil. For us, this is nutritious food, exercise, and rest. If we remove or neglect one of these components, we start to feel unwell, anxious, sluggish, depressed, and/or out of balance. 

In my work as a women’s integrative nutrition health coach, I find that most women are lacking one or more of these keys to health. However almost all of the women I work with are not practicing self-care regularly, or at all.

Self-care is not a one-sized-fits-all prescription. For some, you may need to simply eat more fruits and veggies. For others, perhaps its introducing a regular workout routine, or changing up what you’re currently doing to find a way to move that increases your energy instead of depleting it. And for others, it’s rest. This can be physical rest or spiritual rest. 

In the Passion translation, Romans 12:1-2 says, 

Beloved friends, what should be our proper response to God’s marvelous mercies? I encourage you to surrender yourselves to God to be his sacred, living sacrifices. And live in holiness, experiencing all that delights his heart. For this becomes your genuine expression of worship.

Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.

When we are burned out, overwhelmed and overworked, it’s nearly impossible to treat others with love and grace, let alone ourselves. The “no days off” lifestyle isn’t practical or desirable if we are seeking true wellbeing. We were meant to make time for rest so that we can serve and lead at our best, and so that we can spend time with our Heavenly Father. Even Jesus rested and spent time alone to pray. 

We work full-time jobs, have families, possibly kids, serving opportunities at church, after-work events and still try to maintain a decent social life. But where is your time for rest? Quiet time with God? You cannot give from an empty cup.

In regards to women specifically, this lifestyle won’t just burn your energy, it will actually break down your physical body. Heart disease is the leading killer of women in the United States. In 2013 this was 289,758 deaths, thats 1 in 4 female U.S. deaths. 

Let’s revisit my basil plant for a moment. If I pick a few leaves off of my plant, they will eventually bruise, wilt, and die because they are no longer connected to their life source, the plant. Now, if we are like this basil plant, we also need to be connected to our source of life. 

I believe that self-care is actually a form of worship. If we read the scripture from Romans above, when we surrender ourselves to be His living sacrifices and live in holiness, this becomes a genuine expression of worship. Why would Paul write this? Possibly the same reason Jesus said, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

When you look at your to-do list, where do you fall in your list of priorities? I find that for many women, we are not only not at the top of our priorities, we aren’t even close. Work, family, and the many other obligations take priority over our own mental, physical, and spiritual health.

I find myself guilty of this at times, and I have to intentionally set aside time for rest. Sometimes this is a quick 5 minutes alone, other times its a relaxing bath, and sometimes its just saying “no” to something. As hard as it can be, we have to learn to speak up for ourselves. Rest and regeneration only make us better versions of ourselves. Give yourself some “white space” to breathe and refill. You are allowed. Your health and well being are worth it.

Are you asking God to do a work your health? Do you trust that He can do that? Pray regularly and be in His word. Then make time for rest, exercise, and activities that refuel and regenerate you. 

I recommend finding 5 things that make you feel rested and nurtured, and 5 that make you feel re-energized and refueled. When you notice that you are due for some self-care, pick one of the activities that you have designated to give your body and soul the care that it needs.